Journey.

You ever have one of those days when you feel like nothing you do in life is effective? I mean nothing at all. Like if you are a preacher you are feeling like it is all just becoming pointless? I am having one of those days.

Normally, it would be brought on by an anonymous letter or e-mail that rips apart my very existence (which, happens from time to time)or it might involve hearing a sermon or reading a passage of scripture that totally breaks me, but this time, I dunno, it's just me reflecting on..well...me.

I feel like I put in 20-30 hours per sermon (and believe it or not, I ALWAYS do) and nothing huge comes of it. I feel like I start and maintain all of these community groups, and nothing huge comes of it. I feel like I assist in building all of these relationships that only exist to lead people to the ultimate relationship, that is their relationships with Jesus, and nothing huge comes of it. I feel like I pray for 300 plus people a week, and nothing huge comes of it either.

This isn't me feeling sorry for myself, this is me sharing how I am feeling today. I am not a whiner and I am not an extremist on any issue, I am just sharing how I think life is going right now.

I might just be wrong on this, but today, I think this is a reality.

I guess if I were my pastor, I would tell me that I am not at a destination, but I am on a journey, and maybe on June 30th, 2009 at 1:07pm I am not effective, but maybe that is just a piece of the journey.

Anyone else ever feel like this?