मूवी, मूवी, Movie

SO this past weekend, Em was gone and in my free time (Yes, i have some) i watched DVD's. It was, well boring and sad that all i have to do with my free time without my girls is see movies, but, i did. I saw, The Mist (horrible), National Treasure 2 (liked it), No Country For Old Men (freaked me out, abrupt ending too, but great acting), Rocky Balboa (made me sad for the failed attempt with a world of potential), and Jumper (so fun). It was, like i said, sad that all i have to do with my time is that, but it is what it is. I think the main problem these days with me is i really dont get the chance to develop real relationships. What i mean is, in my job it seems if i go to your house, call you up, e-mail you, whatever, i am doing it because it is my profession to do so. Like if i ask you how you are doing, you feel like i am a doctor, and i am either trying to diagnose your problem or cure it. It feels a little lonely at times.

Dont get me wrong, i love alot of people here. I really do. I just at times feel like people cant always be their selves around me. Like my friends that drink make jokes (i think) like "hide the beer, the pastor is here". Or folks i know talk alot dirtier when i am not around, kind of censor themselves for me. Now i want to say that i appreciate all of this. I honestly dont mind when people drink around me, but if i had to choose i would say i would rather you not (if that makes any sense) And for the bad language, i got to be real with you, i hate filthy talk. I really do. I hate all cuss words and at this point of my life dirty jokes make my skin crawl. There was a time in my life i was all about that stuff, but at the present moment, i would rather you leave me out of those things.

So what does all of this mean? Well as many pastors have noticed, it means i have a hard time getting to know anybody. Its tough. I was talking with a buddy of mine from college this morning and we were sharing stories of stuff we used to do, and i was seriously laughing out loud. I couldnt believe there was a time of my life when i didnt worry about is my wife is doing okay, or if my daughter is eating or sleeping enough, or if everything is okay at church. I was just in a state where i went to class, hung out with my friends, and i just, was.

I perfer this time of my life though. I love our ministry here. I also love being a dad and a husband, and wouldnt trade any of that away. I just have to find a way to deal with folks in a way that they dont feel i am judging them or i am being a "pastor" all the time. Eventhough i am (sort of).

Well i guess at times i get a little too personal with this blog, but thats kind of where i'm at. Oh and for no reason, here is a video from a comic i love named Michael Jr.